Thanks giving

It makes me feel so much better when I write.
Thanksgiving sucked. Why? Because I went to my moms house. I do love my mom but for what ever reason she has chosen to be very unhappy. Ok... maybe she is not aware that she has it in her power to be happy. LOL. Yes, now I'm fucking laughing out loud because I like to think that I have become aware but still find myself in a funk. Lately it's been a constant rollercoaster ride. I watched the movie "Party Monster" not to long ago and and heard a line that says it all. "I'm rapid changing bi-polar"
Ok... enough of that. So yeah, mom is depressed. Well I would be too if I lived with Al. That is her husband and I don't give a shit about technicalities HE IS NOT MY FUCKING FATHER. Words do have actual meaning. Look father up in the dictionary. I'm sure you wont find the meaning that fits my situation.
Sorry... hit another tangent. When I'm in a good mood it just flies out. See what I mean. I wrote "This is not a poem" when I got home form painting at Lynn and Millers town home. Why did I write it??? Because that is exactly how I felt. Well... I'm in a good mood now.
Look it up. It's called "Rapid changing bi-polar disorder" I heard about it in a movie. :-)
I was talking about Al. He is a most miserable man. It disturbs me that I really don't like him but I cant seem to find it in me to see the child in him. He sits in his den all day except to play cards with mom, sleep, fix himself a drink, and take a shit. What does he do in this room? Watch westerns, drink the drinks he has made for himself and the cheap beer my mom has bought for him, fill the house with toxic tobacco smoke, and cough up flem. Why do I not like him so much? Besides the above which would not be a problem if he were not such an ignorant, self centred, can't wait till that generation is gone, prejudiced fuck. He treats my mom like shit. Fucking shit. Oh but you should hear how sweet he talks to the cats. Anyway... Yeah, thanksgiving sucked. My mom was not thankful at all.
But I had some wonderful Dumpster Delight with Michael on sunday. I was very happy to see him and that I was thankful for. The meal was actually awesome. A rice dish with nuts and grapes and some other yummy things. Michael nuked this with some homemade mashed potatoes. The things people throw away. I was also thankful that Travis had a wonderful rock climbing trip to Joshua Tree. He had left quite angry and I think I was a bit disturbed by it all because "I CARE FOR YOU" I mean him. I am also thankful for a most wonderful landlord and friend. My homie Homer the homo home owner. I told him today that I have been feeling lost (my bladder was right next to my eye) and he told me that I don't have to always no where I am. Well... something like that. I am also thankful for Laura, and Chris, and Aeon for his inspiration, and Erik because I love him dearly for being him. He has no idea how he has helped me along these last few years. Oh! I should tell him. Ok... there is much more that I am thankful for but I will wait till next year.
Oh!!! and I can't wait for christmas because I really hate that day. Travis... lets collaborate on a christnmas poem together.